Last month our boys went to youth camp for the first time. This is the first time they have gone somewhere States away, without us, for a long period of time. I about died. It was pitiful. As the van drove away, I almost lost it right there in the parking lot. I held it together…….until I got home. I then cried all day, worried sick, wondering if they were ok and so on. It was so silly of me. Jeremy pretty much said, “Dawn, you need to get it together” and I definitely needed to.
So, I began to pray and talk to the Lord asking Him to give me peace in my heart and take away my worry. Then it hit me – Do I trust Him? Do I trust the Lord with my children? Because right then, my actions were not reflecting that. In that moment, I asked the Lord for forgiveness for my ridiculousness and lack of trust and I began to truly dwell on trusting in Him. One of the very first verses I ever memorized was Proverbs 3:5:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.”
Do we trust Him with all of our heart? Do we look past our own understanding and rely on His? What this scripture is saying is we must have “absolute obedience and surrender in every realm of life” (Fritsch, IBC, 4:799). Oh how difficult that is when things aren’t quite in our control. I know my example of worrying as my children went off to camp is such a silly example but it spurred an even greater thought process and challenge in my own heart. Can I rest and rely on Him with absolute obedience and surrender? It should be an immediate resounding “YES” as I am commanded to do so and I have seen His faithfulness over and over. But, do my actions support that answer?
As I sit here at 6:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning having been up for hours already once again wrestling with this question, I come to these conclusions: I must trust Him. I have to trust Him. When things seem awry in my own heart at this moment, when I see the devastation so many are dealing with in Texas, when I see the unsettledness of our country and world, I must trust Him. Today I say Yes Lord, I believe you. Yes Lord, You are in control. Yes Lord, You are faithful. Yes Lord, You love us with a “love that surpasses knowledge”(Ephesians 3:18) and therefore, I trust You.
Friend, I don’t know where you are today, what you wrestle or struggle with; maybe it is sickness, maybe it is marriage struggles, financial struggles, job struggles – whatever it is choose today to trust Him with absolute obedience and surrender over your entire life. The peace that meets total surrender and complete trust in Him is astounding.
~Father help me today to trust You completely, even though I am so unsure, You are not. You are so faithful and Your ways are perfect. What I see in front of me pales in comparison to what You have ahead of me.~