This is for the ones who are in the pit and aren’t quite sure they’ll make it out.  Maybe you had an affair, maybe you had an abortion, whatever bad choice it is….just know, hope is not lost.   Rest assured that this sin you have struggled with, its already been overcome by the blood of Jesus Christ.  There is forgiveness and freedom offered through His redeeming love.

Last Wednesday, for the first time in over two years, I began teaching a bible study again.  It was a brand new feeling for me and a joyous one at that.  Friends, this is part of my story of restoration lived out.  This is part of the story that I share to give hope to those feeling defeated or completely broken right now.  You may be in the darkest moments, questioning if the Lord will ever use you again.  He can and He will.  However, this requires hard work and obedience from you.  This is no easy process but one filled with victory when you pursue it.  This is a process that requires true repentance, surrender, hard work and obedience.

Repentance – This is not only confessing sin with your mouth but also with your heart.  We can all say “God forgive me for what I’ve done,” but until you have confessed it in your heart and become completely broken over the depravity and awfulness of your sin, you cannot move forward.  I had to come to a point where I saw Jesus hanging on the cross for my sin and it finally wrecked me.  I wanted nothing of it and fell to my knees.

Surrender – I surrendered every single piece of me to the Lord.  I gave Him the ability to do whatever He needed to do with me to heal me.  He removed me from everything I was involved in.  I knew that in order for healing to take place in every aspect of my life, it was imperative to retreat and focus solely on restoration.

Hard Work and Obedience – Heed wise counsel.  The Lord blessed me with an incredible Christian counselor whom I saw weekly (sometimes more!) for over a year.  {Just a little “soapbox” moment here:  when you are seeing a counselor – get your money’s worth.  What I mean is:  if you are going to spend the money and time to get counseling – actually go in there and be honest with them and yourself.  Otherwise, it’s a waste of your time and your money!}   In seeing her, she spoke Truth to me, redirected my thinking when that was appropriate and gave me biblically based tools to equip me.  In addition to seeing a ‘professional’ counselor, I surrounded myself with wise counsel through friendships.  I kept a small circle of woman close that not only encouraged me but they too would speak Truth to me and corrected me when necessary.  This is all under “hard work and obedience” because when you are given wise counsel, sometimes the pill is hard to swallow in what you are instructed to do.  But, you have to be obedient and do it.  These people are who the Lord has given you to walk this part of your journey out.  Listen and Do.  It is hard.  Some of is it really hard.   It’s got to be because at least for me, I was coming out  something awful.  Really really awful. So, I needed the hard, the really really hard.

Through this entire process, the key is staying in God’s Word, filling your heart and mind with God’s Word and living out God’s Word.  Truth – always Truth.  Through this process, my heart was gutted.  I know, that sounds so terrible but it’s the only way to describe it.  There was so much yuck and filth in there, it needed to be gutted.  The Word of God has been the foundation in which my heart was restored.  It is now filled full of His Promises and His Truth.  Psalm 51 was one I read many many days.  It has beautiful truths and promises throughout.  I want to share a few verses from it:

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you. Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. Unseal my lips, O Lord, that my mouth may praise you. Psalm 51:12-15

1. I prayed daily for the Lord to give me a pure heart.(v12)  He did.
2. I asked Him to restore me.(v12) He has and now I am excited to “teach His ways!”(v13)
3. I asked Him to forgive me.(v14) He has and now I joyfully sing of His righteousness!(v14)

My lips are open now and declaring His love and faithfulness!  He graciously accepts us and forgives us when we come to Him humble, honest and willing.  He loves you friend and He will use you.

I wanted to share the hard part of this because I never want to fill this blog with ‘fluff.’  I don’t ever want to mislead anyone into thinking this journey is easy.  It’s hard work but so very worth it.  And don’t think for a second that the enemy will take a break on you.  He is waiting for you to give up.  He is waiting for you to become defeated.  Don’t sweet friend.  Our Lord has so much more for you.  And just like me, as He renews and restores you, He will give you opportunities to use the gifts He created you with.

As I stood in the classroom last week before the study began, the enemy was steadily trying to get in my head and my heart as he had many times over the last several weeks.  “No one is coming Dawn.”  “They know you are teaching and people don’t want to hear from you Dawn.”  “People think you’re a liar Dawn.”  “You are a scam Dawn.”  And in that moment I said, “you are a liar Satan” and I once again prayed for the Lord to calm my heart and use me for His glory.  He did.  Woman after woman came in that classroom until we couldn’t put anyone else in there.  And in that moment, the Lord spoke to me and said, “here it is Dawn, now let me use you.”

I now have the privilege of teaching His Word again to several beautiful women.  And I now understand what a privilege it is to be part of ministry.  One that I will never again take for granted.  (Yes, I said never!)  I understand that it is not me that’s great, it is Him that works in and through me that is.  Pride has no part in the Lord’s work.  Humility does.

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” James 4:6

I don’t know how He will use you and your story sweet friend but He will.   Stay with it, even in the tough stuff because victory is on the other side.