One year ago today it all crashed. All the plates I had spinning, the balls I was juggling….crashed. Everything crumbled. Betrayal, anger, hurt and heartbreak took over. Hearts were shattered…..many many hearts were broken. The feeling of desperation and hopelessness was overwhelming for a time. It is a feeling of being lost and not sure how you are going to make it through until you finally grasp the depravity of the situation and realize the one and only thing you can and should cling to is the hope you find in a Savior. That Savior is Jesus Christ.
This day has been looming the last few weeks. I have a frighteningly good memory as far as specific dates go. That is a blessing and a curse as you often remember things you really don’t want to remember. Walking through these last few weeks knowing this day was coming, I have talked to my closest friends and encouragers in addition to talking it through with Jeremy. Everyone has asked “how are you doing?” “How are you feeling about it…” Well friends, I can say I walk into it with freedom and peace. Yes, a tiny bit stings thinking back on it because it was a horrible and tragic day. However, looking back and reflecting and then evaluating today, I have nothing to hide. Absolutely nothing. Zero, zilch, nada. I walk in a freedom today that only comes from total and complete surrender to the Lord. What a beautiful feeling that is. Today Jeremy and I walk hand and hand – nothing standing between us. Jeremy and I both say we are grateful to have walked this path over the last year. I am sure you are saying “WHAT?” Yes friends, we are grateful. The Lord has created such a beautiful place for us now in our walk with Him, in our marriage and in our everyday lives. We have learned A LOT that I am excited to share with you in the coming days. We walk in a peace and contentment that can’t be matched. Our faith was certainly put to the test – we overcame a great obstacle. It is only by the grace given to us through Jesus Christ that He has cleansed me and made me new and also made our marriage new.
I have chosen obedience. Jeremy has chosen obedience. The Lord is still working and we are still learning. Our journey is only getting better. Through obedience you are blessed with reward. Do you know what my reward is right now? A clear conscience. Praise Jesus for that.
I’m excited to share more over the next weeks and months about what the Lord has done and is continuing to do. Also, what His word says about many things that have transformed my heart over the last year.
Above all – above anything I have said over the last several months remember this:
The greatest reward is to live in God’s presence and enjoy His glory. Do you know Him? Let me tell you friends, He is hope. He is peace. He is joy. The ONLY….the ONLY way Jeremy and I have made it this far is through Jesus Christ. If you don’t know Him today, all it takes is asking Him to come in to your life. Surrender all to Him and acknowledge He is Lord over your life. It will be the best decision you have ever made and ever will.